Monday, February 9, 2009

The cycle of love



Love is a beautiful feeling, even when it involves the fear of losing the person you love.Being in love is supposed to feel great. But sometimes it just feels confusing.What can you do if you are being hurt, controlled or treated badly in a relationship?


Among the most interesting times we can remember from our past, college days stand out. This is the place where many people start to live life as fully fledged adults. It is a stage of freedom that sees many discover so much about life.College girls are no exception. They are people who love fun and are at the peak of their lives. When in college, many have dreams and ambitions that enable them to look forward to the future with optimism. College girls are very impressionable and, their love life is something very interesting. In many colleges of the world, it is hard to escape some scandals that have to do with college girls being caught on the wrong side of the college laws. It is an exciting time full of so many adventures.

There are many stories you can tell from your college days and, the more interesting ones are on their love life. College girls are known for having wild night with friends and their relationships are not usually very stable. It is pretty exciting how they go about it. This is usually a stereotype and, there is some degree of truth to it.

In college, girls find very many love attractions as more attractions continue to be discovered each an every week. It is pretty hard to keep tabs on the people the girls go out with but, this is usually a phase in which they are passing through. The girls are sometimes referred to as party girls and they seek to take advantage of every opportunity clubbing. This is a picture that depicts the hardships when it comes to finding real and true affection in college. If you are a girl in college, there are some things you can do to make sure that you meet the right guy to date.


First, it is vital that you have an open mind. In college, it is vital to realize that you are going to meet with a variety of people. Other cultures that might interest you are worth being curious about. Seek to mingle with different people and identify the real cultures of people. It is paramount that you keep the options to love and romance open. In college, people are attracted to different things and you should seek to capitalize on this.
One major mistake that people make is to enter into relationships without looking deep into the characters of people.

This is part of ignorance and it might cost many girls a lot. If you find that you do not want to date a person from your college, you can opt for something else.Online dating will ensure that you meet a variety of people from different parts of the world. It is vital to consider what kind of relationship you want in college.You might want something short term or long term. If you are for a short term fling, take every caution to make sure that you are not ignorant on the consequences. For example, you need to prevent pregnancy as well as other sexually transmitted diseases all the time. Girls get pregnant in college delaying their progress. if you want a relationship that is more long term, do everything you can to make it work.


Many times, when two people meet or experience a relationship no matter how brief or elongated, some linen of a past life could always be found in the circumstances surrounding the beginning and end of such relationship. This is usually the case if one could look at the situation objectively from a detached point of view. Many times, these circumstances are so obvious and simple that we ignore them or take them for granted. Sometimes we are in denial of the true purpose of the relationship and instead dwell on the emotional impression that appears to be driving the relationship.

Usually, when such emotional drive runs out of gas or hit the wall, many of us then pause to make an assessment of how and why the relationship come about in the first place. Incidentally, at such time the assessment of the concerned individuals may become tainted by the inability of their bruised heart to see the underlying lessons in the relationship. At such times the human instinct puts up a defensive attitude that tries to see how the other person went wrong, but we usually forget to look within and figure out if we went wrong somewhere or that perhaps the relationship came to an end just because it has ran its full course.

The Chance to End A Cycle or To Continue:
Sometimes, a relationship that may have started in the past runs its natural course in the present and therefore come to an end due to no dominant fault of either party, especially when the parties need to move on to another lesson. At such times both parties would do well to move on without holding any grudges against the other. Incidentally, while some may objectively accept and understand the situation and therefore close that chapter and move on to the next stage of their lives, others put the blame on the other party. They simply fail to learn the lesson or forgive the situation. Instead they allow their emotions to lead them on. So in line with human defensive mechanism, after they destroy what would have been a good relationship or closure they jump into another relationship to suit their ego or soothe their emotions – the rebound effect.

Interestingly, because such persons are in denial or fail to learn the lessons or even forgive the situation, the same problem(s) continues to follow them into the next situation in life, be it the next job, the next relationship, the next residence, and even the next lifetime. Usually the concerned party may not even realize that it is the same problem that is coming back again and again simply because the problem takes the appearance of a different nature even though it is still the same in substance. This continues until the moment or lifetime when such a person stands up to the situation and deals with it once and for all.


Life Opportunities to Balance the Past:
Life offers the individual numerous opportunities to balance his/her past and move on. Some individuals seize such chances to grow and move on, while others even sink deeper because they let their emotions drive their thoughts and actions. Sometimes an individual is attracted to another due to an affection that may have been kindled somehow in the past, and they get together to continue or conclude what they may have started in the past. At other times, an individual may fail to understand the opportunity he/she may have been given to pay back what was owed another person in a past life. They may see their acts from the present perspective and therefore think that their “good deeds/gestures” started in the present and that the recipient therefore owes them something, when in actual fact they have simply repaid what they owed and should move on without expecting any reward. Sometimes the gesture, deed, or gift may not be of a material kind but one of affection, care, or feeling. Because such expectation is perhaps shrouded in some emotional attachment to the other person (the recipient), the individual becomes emotionally bruised or “heart broken” when the recipient of their esteemed “good gesture” fails to reciprocate their “good gesture” or “affectionate” feeling.

When such happens, the individual who believed he/she had given “love” would conclude that the recipient had failed to reciprocate their “good gesture or love,” and they would strongly believe this even when the other person may not have asked for such love, affection, good deeds, or gestures in the first place. Sometimes the individual may have forced the so-called “love” or “good gesture” on the recipient whether the recipient asked for it or not. Interestingly, the individual would insist that he/she had given “true love’ to the other person when the individual had actually given a somewhat selfish kind of love with some kind of expectation in mind.

Celebrity Love and Stalkers:
Some individuals eventually wake up to the true assessment of things and they make amends and move on. However, in some cases, no amount of reasoning would convince the individual to move on even when his/her love may not have been directly returned. That could explain why celebrity-stalkers always insist that a particular celebrity was destined to be their life partner or love mate. Such stalkers would go around telling whoever would listen that they have done so many nice things for the celebrity and that they therefore deserve some return of affection or attention from the celebrity. This usually remains the conviction of the stalker even when the stalked person has never met or asked for anything from the stalker. Sometimes the stalker becomes so desperate that he/she would want to eliminate the celebrity’s loved ones for getting more of the celebrity’s attention.

Attributes of Love:

Many things have been attributed to love that it is sometimes doubtful to say what is love. However, a few facts remain clear. True love demands nothing in return. It is not given with an expectation in mind. It goes with no strings attached. It does not covet or possess. It gives freely. It feels the pain when the other person is in pain and it rejoices when the other person attains something positive in life, be it in a different relationship, a new job, or career. True love understands. True love tolerates. True love knows that love is indeed the most powerful force in the universe and therefore cannot be outdone by any other force. True love is patient for it knows that love is freedom and cannot be forced or compelled, but will always be how, where, and when It will.

Much to Learn:
Love is the backbone of existence. It is like truth – so simple that its simplicity makes it complicating. Perhaps that is why it could take lifetimes to be comprehended. Find your own meaning. I still have very much to learn.




Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Month of Love

Love Relationships

It's nice to know that you're secured with that someone. That even if the rain is pouring hard and the sky is almost dark, he'll never leave you just so you won't feel alone. Even if his friends had left him and even if he has to be somewhere else he'd still stay by your side, just so you won't feel alone.

It's so good to know that you have someone who'll be willing to help you cope up in every frustrations you're having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he'd be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.


It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.

It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.


It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.


It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.


It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rule in him just so happiness would take over you.


It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.


It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. That even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.


It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.


It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretensions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrassed, but it won't matter because it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.


It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love have scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.


It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.

... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.




Monday, February 2, 2009

Love story for hearts day

"follow your heart"

Billy loved Katie with all his heart. But he never told a Single soul. Katie secretly loved him too. But she thought she would never have a chance with him. Billy asked his friends what they think of her and his friends thought she was gay. They didn't like her at all. So Billy just went along with them. They all made fun of her and made her feel really bad. Katie was so upset.

One day they followed her home from school making fun of her the whole way home. Once she got inside her house she dropped to the floor cringe. She had a crush on Billy since 3rd grade. She didn't know what to do. When Billy got home he felt real bad about what he had done. So he decided to go to Katie's house to tell her he was sorry and that he really loves her.

When he got there he knocked on the door no one answered.

The door was open so he walked in. He walked into the living room and found Katie lying dead on the floor. She had slit her wrists. Billy was so up set . He knew it was his fault she killed her self. And now he could never tell her how he really felt.

The lesson of this story is:

Don't wait to until the last minute to tell someone how you really feel. Because it just might be too late. And don't always go by what your friends say, follow your heart.

2 Sides Of Love

His side

-"tell her how you feel" is what my friends said
-so i picked up the phone
-called your house
-you answerd
-i said "i love you"
-and hung up right after
-the next day
-i told you it was a bet from a friend
-it was partly true
-but you didnt answer
-no sassy come back wich you allways do
-just stood there
-the walked away

My side

-he called my house
-i picked up
-he told me he loved me
-then hung up
-the next day
-i was going to tell you i loved you back
-but you said it was a bet
-i had everything planned out
-every move i planned
-every word
-but when you said that...
-i had nothing to say
-i stood and watched you
-as you broke my heart

Regret

There was this guy who believed very much in true love and decided to take his time to wait for his right girl to appear. He believed that there would definitely be someone special out there for him, but none came.

Every year at Christmas, his ex-girlfriend would return from Vancouver to look him up. He was aware that she still held some hope of re-kindling the past romance with him. He did not wish to mislead her in any way. So he would always get one of his girl friends to pose as his steady whenever she came back. That went on for several years and each year, the guy would get a different girl to pose as his romantic interest. So whenever the ex-girlfriend came to visit him, she would be led into believing that it was all over between her and the guy. The girl took all those rather well, often trying to casually tease him about his different girlfriends, or so, as it seemed! In fact, the girl often wept in secret whenever she saw him with another girl, but she was too proud to admit it. Still, every Christmas, she returned, hoping to re-kindle some form of romance. But each time, she returned to Vancouver feeling disappointed.

Finally she decided that she could not play that game any longer. Therefore, she confronted him and professed that after all those years, he was still the only man that she had ever loved. Although the guy knew of her feelings for him, he was still taken back and have never expected her to react that way. He always thought that she would slowly forget about him over time and come to terms that it was all over between them. Although he was touched by her undying love for him and wanted so much to accept her again, he remembered why he rejected her in the first place-she was not the one he wanted. So he hardened his heart and turned her down cruelly. Since then, three years have passed and the girl never return anymore. They never even wrote to each other. The guy went on with his life..... still searching for the one but somehow deep inside him, he missed the girl.

On the Christmas of 1995, he went to his friend's party alone. "Hey, how come all alone this year? Where are all your girlfriends? What happened to that Vancouver babe who joins you every Christmas?", asked one of his friend. He felt warm and comforted by his friend's queries about her, still he just surged on.
Then, he came upon one of his many girlfriends whom he once requested to pose as his steady. He wanted so much to ignore her ..... not that he was impolite, but because at that moment, he just didn't feel comfortable with those girlfriends anymore. It was almost like he was being judged by them. The girl saw him and shouted across the floor for him. Unable to avoid her, he went up to acknowledge her.

"Hi......how are you? Enjoying the party?" the girl asked.

"Sure.....yeah!", he replied.
She was slightly tipsy..... must be from the whiskey on her hand. She continued,
"Why...? Don't you need someone to pose as your girlfriend this year?" Then he answered, "No, there is no need for that anymore......"
Before he can continue, he was interrupted, "Oh yes! Must have found a girlfriend! You haven't been searching for one for the past years, right?" The man looked up, as if he has struck gold, his face beamed and looked directly at the drunken girl. He replied, "Yes......you are right! I haven't been looking for anyone for the past years."
With that, the man darted across the floor and out the door, leaving the lady in much bewilderment. He finally realized that he has already found his dream girl, and she was.....the Vancouver girl all along! The drunken lady has said something that awoken him.

All along he has found his girl. That was why he did not bother to look further when he realized she was not coming back. It was not any specific girl he was seeking! It was perfection that he wanted, and yes.....perfection!!
Relationship is something both parties should work on. Realizing that he had let away someone so important in his life, he decided to call her immediately. His whole mind was flooded with fear. He was afraid that she might have found someone new or no longer had the same feelings anymore..... For once, he felt the fear of losing someone.

As it was Christmas eve, the line was quite hard to get through, especially an overseas call. He tried again and again, never giving up. Finally, he got through......precisely at 1200 midnight. He confessed his love for her and the girl was moved to tears. It seemed that she never got over him! Even after so long, she was still waiting for him, never giving up.

He was so excited to meet her and to begin his new chapter of their lives. He decided to fly to Vancouver to join her. It was the happiest time of their lives! But their happy time was short-lived. Two days before he was supposed to fly to Vancouver, he received a call from her father. She had a head-on car collision with a drunken driver. She passed away after 6 hours in a coma.
The guy was devastated, as it was a complete loss. Why did fate played such cruel games with him? He cursed the heaven for taking her away from him, denying even one last look at her! How cruel he cursed! How he damned the Gods...!! How he hated himself....for taking so long to realize his mistake!! That was in 1996.

The moral of this story is :
Treasure what you have...
Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...
Time is Eternity.

For all you out there with someone special in your heart, cherish that person, cherish every moment that you spend together that special someone, for in life, anything can happen anytime. You may painfully regret, only to realise that it is too late.


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